A time to be single… 4 of the things I've learned.

I'm 32 years old and in 32 days I will be getting married. Some days I didn't know if this would ever happen, and honestly most of the time I was content with that…because I knew (because I had learned over and over) that no matter what humans were my "rock", they would fail me but that God was always faithful. Therefore, even if it was only ever me and Him, it was going to be okay. That said, I'm very thankful for my future husband. He is so good for me in many ways and I can see God's hand in our relationship over the past few years. Meeting Joel was fun, becoming friends was exciting and getting to know him as a boyfriend and fiancé has been an adventure...and I know that this is just the beginning.

The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy. Psalm 126:3

After one of the particularly frustrating days of paperwork we were talking about the really happy days, and the sad days we'd experienced together and how through it all God has things to teach us. And I totally believe that is true in the season of singleness. Sure, there were moments or days of loneliness, adventure and spontaneity (sometimes intermingled), but God taught me many things. So I wanted to share some for those of you who are single, or those of you who know single people so we keep learning what it means to enjoy every season, and encourage others.

1. Make each other feel welcome.  It was/is fun to be apart of the lives of my friends and their families. I don't know if I can even count all of the couches and spare beds I've slept on, the cars I've borrowed, the meals, coffees, desserts I've been given, babies I've held, house keys I've been entrusted with, or parties I've attended. I feel blessed. I've loved seeing friends getting married, friends going into retirement and friends graduating high school (or preschool). Mostly I think I'm trying to say that I believe that it's good for all of us to have friends in various seasons, maturity and late phases.

2.  Make each other feel valued in whatever life stage you are. If they are married encourage them in their marriage; if they have new babies, encourage them that they will get sleep someday and maybe hold the baby so they can take a shower or make themselves a coffee; if they are parenting teenagers…wish them luck, haha!,  if they are single don't feel like it's your job to set them up. God has His timing for all of us, and we should enjoy it!

3. Remember that you are where you are for a reason.  God is very purposeful with us, we just can't always see it. I'm sure all of us can look to five years ago and never would have imagined a lot of the things we experienced during that time-and sometimes He gives us a window to see why things went a certain way. Remember those things, and be encouraged that you have a God that is incredibly personal and loving. He is a good, good father.

4. Remember that God is your only faithful traveling companion.  It's okay to feel emotional about the struggles of your particular season of life I think…but I think it's important to look beyond whatever emotion that evokes. I don't know that I've always done especially well with this. I remember some times of profound loneliness (sometimes because of not having a spouse, but sometimes just because I didn't have any local friends after yet another move) and feeling consumed by that. I remember making really big decisions and feeling like God was truly the only one who knew or could understand why. (Because sometimes He calls us to do crazy stuff). When you're single, sometimes you just feel very alone. I don't know exactly how it feels when you're married…but I think it's safe to say that your spouse will disappoint you sometimes (and you them) and you might still have times of loneliness, because none of us are perfect except God, and He will always, always accompany us on the journey of life.

So I know getting married isn't going to make my life perfect, in fact I think it's going to reveal a lot of ugly things about my heart, and sin that still lives in there- but I'm sure that God wants to use this season as well, to make me more like Him.  So there is a time to be single, and for some of us, a time to be married, but for all of us there is always time to be thankful.